A little catch up about now going on my own
Last year was one of the hardest of my life, not that am not strong but so much happened, my husband of 8 years walking out on me, a flood wrecking the whole of the ground floor of my house…just to name a few things….It was hard, to hold it all together, putting the children first and their feelings, work and the madness of the house. In a small space of time, the oven, car, dishwater, washing machine and tap broke….I some how managed to get through it all.
Knowing my husband had moved on, I opened my door to what seamed to be the perfect guy, he invited me to go to a festival in the summer with him and his friends. I hadn’t been to a proper dance festival in, I don’t know how long, I think about 15 years ago! The first one was when I was 2, lols!!
Me at Glastonbury in the 80’s
I have been to loads of events, as I used to be a club dancer/promoter, running one of the most successful dance nights on the south coast at one point but since having children I had only been clubbing once. (I have made up for that the last few months) A huge epic festival sounded like the perfect way to move on from my horrible year. I was excited to be doing something so fun with such a fun group of people.
I looked into if I could take my caravan Margo, and they said that was fine, so I booked the campervan pass too. Knowing it would be great to have my own bathroom and kitchen, and space to chill out. We had already talked about how Margo can easy sleep 6 people and has a huge awning so others could camp in the awning. I really felt it would be a great little hang out place and imagined lots of us chilling out in the morning or getting ready in Margo. So…..
Well, you know me if you have been following me on social media. I never ask for help, am pretty independent. You have no idea how much I have lifted or moved on my own the last year. I can’t even begin. I cleared the whole of the side of my house on my own, beds, mattresses, radiators… You name it, I lifted it on my own and moved it, gave it away or took it to the tip. I lifted two butler sinks!! I am small but am strong. (My husband was still dumping stuff down the side of the house after he had moved out…) I was on a mission to make the house perfect for me and the children.
I had managed to go and collect another amazing little caravan, sleepy and rushing, she slipped off the jack (never trust a Jack) and the whole caravan landed on my ankle. I managed to lift her off my leg, hop into the house, take painkillers and oj for the shock, (making sure I didn’t look at my leg/foot.) I then had to move/lift three large sets of drawers out of the back of the Volvo. Carry them into the house, around the caravan which had landed very close to the front door…Then climb in the back of the car, and put the seats back up, then put each of the three car seats in the back. Then I drove to the shop to get snacks and drove to the school. When getting there, parking as close as I could, the pain kicked in and boy did it hurt. I cried when my friend said, she thought it was broken. What the heck would I do with a broken foot and three kids on my own!!
It was so hard to ask for help, one friend looked after my three, her four and our friends two. So she could take me to the hospital. I was on crutches for a week. The first weekend, my ex was seeing the children again was the day after doing this to my self. I was in so much pain, I don’t think I had anything to eat that weekend as I couldn’t stand long enough to make anything. I was on such strong drugs I didn’t know what the day was at one point. I asked the guy I was seeing to come see me, maybe even look after me a little. What I had been through was scary. He promised, then when he didn’t that night he promised it would be the next night and so on. I HAVE NEVER asked for help like that before. I was gutted, pretty heart broken to be frank. Yet again, I was let down by a guy, even worse he had promised to fix my little girls dolls house and she was asking, saying its ok he will fix it. Gutted. I was very low. I managed to keep going, soon as the minis where back, I stopped taking the stronger drugs and just managed with the pain. They where so caring, my middle little boy was so scared about me going to hospital, it was very hard for him.
THANK GOD, I hadn’t broken it and was off crutches within a week. Thank you James for moving the caravan for me. It was a hard time and I got behind with work. Not only did my body feel broken, I did too. I have a very bad back due to a few car crashes, and if I don’t work out it comes back 10 fold. The doctors want me to live on strong painkillers but I couldn’t get out of bed on them, let alone, work and look after my children so I just live with the pain. I have noticed its so much better now I work out, so I really felt not being able to work out, for my body and my mind. This was most likely the lowest I have ever been in my life, my friends and my mum where really worried about me.
So the tickets…..sell or wing it on my own…?
Looking on Facebook, I saw a post about a group for people going solo. Looked like a proper little gang of people. I started to read through and follow posts, wondering if I was up for going on my own. Towing a caravan to a festival on my own seamed HUGE, let alone a huge festival on my own, a girl of only 5.2….. Then I started thinking about everything I have been through in my life… Ive been treated pretty badly and got through more than most, so why not just live my life and stop worrying. The more I followed the Facebook group the more I loved the idea, you see am a wonderer. If I go clubbing, I like to have a little wonder about, am the same at events. Sometimes, going on your own means, you don’t have to worry about the acts other people want to see, or not being able to wonder off and meet people or join in with other things or your mate is sleepy and wants to go back etc. The more I read the more I got excited and thought, yes! Am doing this! Am going to this huge crazy thing on my own!
Here is me wondering off to chat to people at a festival when I was just a toddler. My mum was close by and keeping an eye on me. One of my earliest memories is at Glastonbury, I got lost, running after my father. It was a two hour walk to the first aid tent/meet up place. A lovely couple found me and I remember him carrying me on his shoulders, by the time two hours was up I had talked this poor couple senseless! I have always been independent, and had no fear in just walking up to people and getting to know them.
So how did this group of people going on their own get started??
Back in 2006, Bronte started to go to festivals on her own. She found others where in the same boat, and she gathered them together and started having meet ups, it quickly snowballed into a huge movement. When she started coming to Boomtown in 2015, she he had found others talking about selling tickets or not wanting to come as friends had dropped out of coming. She was having NONE of that so started a group and the ‘Boomtown Solo Camp’ started. It now has 114 members (growing all the time) and has its own little campsite on site. She also meet her soon to be husband doing the group and they are getting married before the festival this year.
What does the advice does the original solo girl have for girls going to festivals on their own?
‘Try camp with others, make friends with them because there’s safety in numbers. Leave nothing of value in your tent. Have a emergency contact number on you at all times.
Learn the lay out.
JUST GO FOR IT
Always friends to be made….. at the loos, girls talk and if you say you are there alone most will just adopt you.
Been there alone can be scary but also enlightening.’
So I have gone from feeling pretty broken, going through divorce to getting excited about Boomtown money, hugs and shots with these amazing people!
Last weekend, it felt like a real step towards moving forward with my life, no more being taken for granted and let down. A summer of fun is what I need. Here I am at almost midnight writing about this, as I have been away for the last three weekends!! And wow have I got some amazing plans coming up in the next few months, but I know Boom town is going to be my years highlight. Thank you to all the Solos for making me feel not only welcome but excited about going!! Yes am planning outfits, yes am thinking of the list of work Margo needs before she is ready of such a long event! I can’t wait. So look out Boomtown. The more I read about BT the more exciting am getting, from the money to the storyline, to the fact they are trying so hard to reduce their impact on the environment. Keep an eye out for lots of upcoming blogs about this. Whats it going to be like going on my own? Whats it going to be like taking a 1960’s caravan to a dance event? Whats it going to be like??? Am so excited, and nervous!!
Omar – ‘Its a completely different experience! You either talk to no one and loose ya marbles or you just talk to everyone and will leave the fest with a new family of 30 happy ravers.
Also no waiting around or looking for people all the time 😉’
Elisabeth – ‘My boyfriend is not into festivals, and that’s why I’ve started to go solo… now I’ve made sh*t loads of awesome friends in the solo’s, but still call myself solo 😛 In this years of been solo, I’ve meet people who literally travel from the other side of the world to come and make their dream come true to be at festivals. People who had tickets and then break up with relationships and decide to push themselves after that. People who want to build self confidence and jump into…’
Brunhilda – ‘From an older perspective. At 39 I had three kids two businesses, a 12 yr marriage. I was a party animal at Uni – pre marriage kids and adulating. I spent 12 yrs making all the above my focus and then stopped one day and thought Im a mom, a boss, a wife wheres me ? Went to Glasto solo 4 yrs ago and been to loads of festivals since, after meeting loads of friends I now call family.
Solo means doing what you want when you want.
Making new friends
Pushing your own limits
Finding your own strengths.
Not feeling oblidged to stay or hang out or watch or do things u dont want to do. Ability to dip in and dip out of most things knowing there is likely someone to join u if you want or take Some solo time if u need…Going solo is about firstly satisfying what iT is you need and then hopefully meeting Some soul mates in the process
💕💕💕#mytwocentsworth Stay safe and have fun folks xxx’
Robert – ‘My friends bailed on me last year, actually contemplated giving up my ticket then about 3 weeks before I found the group, best thing that ever happened such a great bunch of genuine, loving people and so that’s why I’m so happy to return to the group this year so looking forward to seeing everyone again and looking forward to meeting all new polos ❤️🤟’
Rachel – ‘I’ve done it before a long time ago at creamfields after I had split up with my fiance at the time…. And I’m doing it now because I can 😄 I think if you’re lucky enough to be able to afford the luxury of experiencing a festival then go for it whether you’re on your own or not.’
Jovan ‘I’ve been going to Boomtown for a number years – first invited by a mate of mine. Last year was my first time solo as he sadly passed away a month or 2 before but he had always said Boomtown was his spiritual home so figured I’d go nonetheless. I used to have a group of friends that I would come with however they’ve decided to go to another festival instead (which I’ll be going to as well) but I love Boomtown so thought I’d come again.’
Omar A – ‘I go clubbing on my own a lot, but I don’t normally do many festivals or nature (bad hayfever and I’m a city boy). So thought I’d push myself out of my comfort zone as my birthday’s on the Sunday and I just wanna see what happens! I’ve been to Burning Man and I’ve been told BT is the closest I’ll get in Britain.’
Emma-Louise – ‘This may be my first time going solo to a festival!! My fiancee was always my main festival buddy. Then we broke up (sad times) and none of my friends are free/could afford it/fancy Boomtown. In a fit of enraged single fury I thought, why should I have to give up something I love just because I don’t have that relationship any more?! Then I found this group and it’s seeming like a pretty awesome idea to me 👌’
Zane – ‘Been to boomtown the last 4 years and u will always end up losing all the people you are with and finding yourself and some new friends on the way’
Will – ‘I’ve been going every year to Boomtown, since chapter 3 so… 8 times. For the last two or three times I’ve gone of my own. I used to go with a mate but due to personal reasons he became unfit to attend. I tried to persuade others to come with me but couldn’t. Obviously I wasn’t going to miss it, so I had no choice but to start going it alone.
Already knowing my way around helped, I didn’t feel particularly threatened or unsafe. My main concern was making sure no one slipped my a micky and mugged me, which seems to be easy enough if you’re careful.
I’ve only ever been robbed once. A guy stole one of my (expensive) costume props and set off like fuckin Linford Christie down the street. I chased the basta*d but he outran me.
The best thing about going it alone is you can get up whenever you want, go wherever you want, see whoever you want, talk to whoever you want and fall in love with whoever you want, without having to have a discussion/argument about it. There’s only so many times you can say “Where do you wanna go now?” before it starts to get on your t*ts.
It also eliminates the worry about where your mates are if you get separated. If you’re in a crowd, you turn around, your mate’s fuckin disappeared without a trace, you spend an hour looking for them trying to call them wondering whether they’re being raped by some crackhead behind the sh*tters. Being alone is far less stressful.
And being alone it forces you to approach other people and make new friends. You might end up shotgunning tinnies in the Psy Forest with some lads from Leeds, or cuddling a pretty girl whilst watching the sun come up in a mandy induced love sesh at the lookout, or joining a band of bandits from Copper County and holding up the Inconvenience Store.
Free yourself. Go solo.’
Watch this space!